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[03 Jul 2009|08:26pm] |
I've announced it via twitter and facebook, but the dear old friend that is my livejournal must not be neglected:
I am engaged! Dave proposed and I happily accepted.
If the last entry had you stumped--engagement was the thing I was talking about. But I feel good about it and we're taking things nice and slow.
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[11 Feb 2009|08:40am] |
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mood |
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 meh |
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music |
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Catch the Wind-Bob Dylan |
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I dislike the new job already, after three hours of training, it already sucks. I got burned by a heat lamp and by the end I was exhausted. Good news is, I interviewed for a volunteer position at the women's aid shelter. A friend of mine got a job there through her volunteering. I'm hoping the same opportunity will open up for me. The supervisor there said it might.
I'm not a food service person, really. Retail has always been a better setting for me, but there just are no retail jobs right now. People can't afford shit--with the exception of coney dogs and greasy french fries. That's where I come in.
You know, I look back at old entries and think, "man, I complained a lot". Well, in a couple years, I'll look back at this and think the same thing.
And they watched her working,
oiling the machines
She was hoping to earn an audition,
hoping to earn a superhero cape.
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| Dude Looks Like a Lady--Not Really |
[04 Jan 2009|12:52am] |
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music |
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Papa's got a brand new bag... |
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I find the way you rest your eyes,
as you lie fettered to the night,
makes me lose my inhibition
and my readiness for flight.
And when you wake I pray you find,
in every facet of the day,
the same joy I found in watching you,
in knowing my heart might never stray.
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[30 Dec 2008|04:40pm] |
I have some kind of illness. It's pretty bad, but I'm not going to the doctor just yet.
At least this didn't happen during school.
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[27 Dec 2008|09:46pm] |
Did you ever suddenly realize that you no longer know someone?
That people actually do change?
That you can't control any of it?
Yeah, I'm there.
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| Merry Christmas |
[25 Dec 2008|12:49am] |
Merry Christmas, Everyone!
So far, it's been pretty good.
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[14 Dec 2008|12:52am] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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So, I've basically been "laid off" from Party City until they receive more hours from corporate. Hopefully they will when it gets closer to Christmas. I hate that I might not be able to work this Christmas season. My parents want me to go find anther job, but who's gonna hire someone for 3 weeks? What a mess. I will look, more or less to appease them, but let's be real: the economy sucks and the likelihood of me finding something is practically nil.
I'm watching SNL right now. Kanye West CANNOT sing.
I'm so glad the semester is over. Now, if they'd just hurry up and post the grades...
Whateverrr....
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[08 Dec 2008|03:36pm] |
So keep your coffee table art
If you won't have my stoic heart.
Like on all those new TV shows;
The character that's last to know.
Double entendre won't flatter me,
A radio star or your bedroom key.
So keep your thoughts on love and art
if you won't have my stoic heart.
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[07 Dec 2008|01:52pm] |
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I want to send out Christmas cards...
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[02 Dec 2008|11:02pm] |
So I've decided to go home for the funeral tomorrow. I tied up all my loose ends and made it so I could get away for 24 hours to see family and friends during a sad time. It's important. Hell, I don't even have that much more work to do. This finals season isn't nearly as bad as I thought. An eight page paper is really the hardest part, and that's not even that hard.
I'm happy that I'll get to see Sarah. It's really hard never seeing your best friend. I get so frustrated because I know that I'm a person who is hard to really "understand". Sarah is one of few who does understand me and I hate this only seeing each other once a year thing. It effing blows.
Here's hoping that the weather isn't too bad and that I get there and back safely.
Peeeeace out.
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[24 Nov 2008|05:47pm] |
Love me famous
Make the times
like fight and flight
which undermines
the raw emotion
in you I see--
that ghostly encounter
you knew was me.
I want to be that lampshade girl
who shines not on her own.
Veiling the brightness of my source;
too bright to view alone.
I have not taste, nor intellect,
to illuminate my world,
but rather than live in a dark, dark place
I'll be that lampshade girl.
Nothing like a little Monday night snow poetry.
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| Holy Crap |
[21 Nov 2008|08:33pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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To Do:
-Three homework assignments for Soc 200 due Monday
-Read an entire German short story
-Write a German essay (due Wed)
-Write a cross cultural interview response, 5-7pages
-Write a report on county commissioner meeting, 3-5 pages
-Start research for Humanistic/Person-centered theory paper
That, is my weekend.
I feel sick. I think it's stress.
I don't get a Thanksgiving dinner this year.
But I am watching Wall-E.
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[13 Nov 2008|09:42pm] |
I cannot bring myself to do that German reading right now. Reading five pages in German is like reading twenty in English--and then I still only understand 75% of it. How is it that I have stuck with this language so long? Good God. Please just let this semester end already. I'm so sick of school right now...
Also, this semester has gone by without me having a job. NOT good. How the hell am I supposed to buy people shit for Christmas? And it's not like I just can't buy people stuff because they buy stuff for me. Gah!
On a side note, I have low self-esteem. I am a weird girl and I know I'm a weird girl, but if it wasn't for my constant need to compare myself to others I know I'd be happy just like I am.
How refreshingly high school of me. *sigh*
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[12 Nov 2008|11:39am] |
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The semester ends in less than a month, and it's official: I am freaking out.
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| Update |
[10 Nov 2008|02:37pm] |
Yeah, it's been a really long time since I updated. I have some venting to do that I can't do on facebook because there are just too many people on it.
German. The German language. It's been a part of my life since eighth grade. We've been together through good times and bad, through thick and thin, and through nearly every semester of college. I love German. My ability to speak it is part of my identity and I take great pride in that. It's also my minor, and I'm always getting weird looks from people because I'm studying Social Work and German, but I don't care. It's my money and I'll study what I damn well please. This semester, I have a rather infamous German teacher, Dr. Jones. He's very smart and you can definitely learn a lot from him, assuming he likes you and assuming that you're immune to heartless sarcasm and smart-ass remarks. I haven't really minded Dr. Jones too much all semester because I've stayed on his good side and done well in his class (kind of). Friday, however, he made a condescending comment about me to another student and it just rubbed me the wrong way, as it should have. I guess now that it's getting to the end of the semester, I'm a little tired of his attitude. Can't I just come to class and learn without being made to feel like an idiot? I'm not an idiot. The only reason he knows more German is because he has a PhD in it and because he's been doing this longer than I've been alive--that does not make him smarter. It just makes him older and more in debt than me. Whatever. I was supposed to have a class with him next semester because in order to minor, you have to finish all the language classes and take two cultural classes. He teaches German cultural history, but I don't think I can deal with him for another semester, especially when everyone I know who is in his class says it is as hard as all get out. No thanks--I'm getting toward the end of my college career and I do not feel like dedicating that kind of time to pointless shit I will never use. I like the language--not the bullshit. Instead, I'm going to take German for business. I know, I know, it has nothing to do with anything I'm studying, but it's with a teacher I love who likes me a lot and who will give me an A for hard work--not perfection. I want to graduate with a high GPA. So, screw you, Dr. Jones and your pretentious attitude. I have better things to do with my time than sit in your class and wish I was somewhere else.
On another note, having to do with German, I have been offered an opportunity to study abroad for a year in Germany. It's a fully scholarship and if I would be willing to become a double major, I could pretty much win the scholarship guaranteed. Sounds like a great opportunity right? Well, it is. The application is due Friday, everyone is telling me to do it, but I don't think I'm going to. I don't think it's what I want, despite what I thought initially when I found out about it. It's a whole year and you don't even stay with a host family. You're by yourself at a German university with classes all in German. You don't choose where you get to go--the federation chooses for you. I don't know, I just don't think it's what I want. What good is a great opportunity if it's not what you want? I'll let someone else have it. Someone who really wants it. I think I would like to graduate from CMU and go on to grad school as planned. Call me crazy--and maybe I am. Years ago, I vowed to do only what I wanted and not what other people wanted me to do. That's exactly what I'm doing now. I will likely never use German after college, which is sad, but I just don't think I want to spend a year abroad. I don't know that opportunities like that are right for me. We'll see.
Other than the above, life is actually very good. It's getting cold and soon it will be Thanksgiving. I look forward to the much needed time off. I hope you all are well.
Later.
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[03 Jul 2008|02:52pm] |
Haven't updated in awhile, and there's not much new other than my recently accrued illness. Yes, I have a sinus infection in July. Yuck.
Work is more of the same.
I'm looking forward to getting back to school. I was looking at my schedule a while back and realized that some of my classes actually sound kind of fun. I bought stuff for my apartment and have taken care of all financial aid. I'm basically set. In another six weeks or so, I'll quit work and move back up to Mt. Pleasant for another year at CMU. I love college. I really, really do.
Things that still need doing:
-Go to the waterpark
-Go to the zoo
-Have wisdom teeth out (it's in the works)
-Get my scraggly hair cut
...ohhh, and call Sarah Drews.
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[18 Jun 2008|11:15pm] |
So, work sucks. No, this is not an epiphany of any sort. I spent today (and must spend the next three days) price ticketing every single item in the Party America store of Madison Heights. Whether you knew this or not, Party City (my company) is now one with Party America. We're still two separate stores and all that, but we're all related. Anywho, Party America of Madison Heights had a customer who complained about an incorrectly priced item, and she felt the need to call the Bureau of Weights and Measure. The Bureau came in, did an audit, and said that every item needs to be priced. So, one or two people from every store in the district spent today and will spend the next two days pricing that entire store. Let me just tell you that it is a total nightmare and I cannot wait to return to my store and my regular job. Ugggghh!
Also, Sarah Drews is apparently lonesome. Miss ya babe!
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[11 Jun 2008|12:00am] |
She's that middle-aged woman
who woke up one morning and told me
she was old
She's young enough at heart to work
with such ambition and old enough
to read the obituaries by lamplight
to see if anyone she knows has died
She's that woman so calloused by time
by heartache by lost love and by life
she need not explain
She wears pantsuits and work attire
Blue jeans and tennis shoes
she's that woman
my mom
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[07 Jun 2008|12:03am] |
I may have spoken too soon about the bountiful hours at work. While I still have more hours than pretty much anyone, I only have 24 for next week. I really hate that I work at the slowest store in the region with the least amount of hours to dole out. I can't complain, though, because they do give me all the hours they can. I just need to try and pick up extra ones whenever possible.
I'm sleepy. I have to work at 8 am.
I've been socializing more. It's nice.
I went swimming today. Amazing.
I miss Dave.
I hated life yesterday, but things are OK now.
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| Stuffins |
[04 Jun 2008|12:34am] |
My mom says I'm having "transition problems" and I guess she's right. Initially, things were fine when I first came home, but now I'm struggling a bit. At school, I have constant socialization. I mean, I lived in a dorm. There were people everywhere and I was friends with most of them. I was always talking and hanging out with my peers. At home, it's a different story. I no longer live in Royal Oak, which leaves me out of my element. I kept in contact with exactly two people from high school: Bernadette and Sarah, both awesome people who I seldom get to see. Sarah, as you all know, lives in California and that sucks. Bernie is very hard to get ahold of, especially lately, and she does live a little far away from me. My other friend is Angie, who is always fun to hang out with, lives out by Dave in Shelby, and neither of us have tons of money to spend on gas to visit each other. In short, I'm not going out and hanging out with people as much as I'd like. I won't be able to go out at will for the rest of my life, so I'd like to enjoy it before I decide to get married, have kids and a full time career. Maybe I should've kept contact with more people from high school. On second thought, no.
All this puts me in a shitty mood and my mom starts harping about my attitude. I really need to learn to pretend that nothing is wrong around her. She always puts me in a worse mood when I tell her that I'm grouchy. And yes, I realize this is all extremely trivial and stupid, but frankly, it's been hard getting used to sitting on my butt night after night when I come home from work. I'm not the couch potato I used to be.
My solution is to start hanging out with people from work. Not always the best idea, but certainly better than being bored. At least I have a car to get around.
This entry is dumb. I really need to learn to not complain about dumb shit.
I'm going to visit my old teachers tomorrow. I'm so lame. And for as much as I bitch about high school, I still make it a point to visit.
Good night.
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